well all about a lotta wow…

It’s been this long, WP has changed things dramatically.

I like it, it’s a nice nifty bit of contrast, I can dig it…

I just also realized:  “Holy S*, I haven’t posted in… Well, ass-ages.”

I got my reasons.  They’re also mental reasons, but that’s not something I’m yet ready to “talk” about.

Ever look at the stats for “habits”?  be them good or bad, there is a time frame to it all.  Was part of psych class, which I was so super in to, and so super failed because I thought copying pages from a book for “homework” was bullshit.  And readily stated that. Regardless…  I think “starting” a habit was something in the vicinity of 6 days (I’m excluding hard drugs in this, of course), and breaking a habit.. 14 days.  That I know by heart.  Why? Well, I’ve had to break some habits in my time.  This last one… Whew.  I think it’s going to be a titch more than 14.

But a nice firm wake up call can do that.  In my case, it’s my freaking spine that rebelled against me.  And it was amazing!  I’m like, if I’m the spine, I’d be high-f*ing-fiving myself, “Yeahhhhh I got that, yeah yeah?!  You see that?  BAM!  Pay attention to me @#$#!  I’ll cripple yo ass!  Try and ignore me again, I dare ya!”

Considering what I saw my father go through with back trouble, I am usually very careful.  And probably a bit scared.  But given, at the same time, I’m too damn determined to think past “oooooooh it’s just back pain.”

Hmm.  Probably something I saw (or imagined) as well.  Parent’s are always invincible.

I sleep without pillows now.  Very hard (floor/mat sorta situation, which bungle loathes-but he has a super slinky spine, that MFer).  I had an amazing Yoga/Asana book given to me which I kinda blew off at the start.  Mainly because I had to read close to 200 pages of theory that I approached and flippantly skimmed as just that:  theory.  “Omg, what really?  Okay, you can flop your head between your knees and kiss your own arse, did that really take 200+ to demonstrate?  Or 200+ pages to tell me about your chakra?”

Don’t mistake me.  I like yoga.  I always have.  I can NOT to this day find the “instructional book” that got me into it originally.  I think I was 16 or 17 when I found it at local library.  I paid heavy fines and check out times for it.  But I loved it.  This one I was given–def different?  But in it’s own way.

It’s “posture rehabilitation” (thanks to me not wearing a seat belt as a teen) or core building-which… is… Yoga.

And okay, Yoga is free (no, you don’t need to go to a “hot yoga lab” to get it, gotta love that new trend) but therapy costs money.  Well, not a LOT really, if you DO NOT have insurance.  If you do, well… You’re paying what you would without it, it’s just that WITH, some asshole corporation is taking a nice bite as well.  Health insurance is basically money laundering, IMHO.

“Awww damn!” I knew the minute it happened.  “I’m in a bad way!  No, no, no, it’s not my diet, damnit.  I just wrenched my neck for too long.  Year plus without the chiro I could always limp in to see and…”  Ya know.

So, I had done my research the minute I got out here (that was a year ago) and a year later had to suck up and make the call.  Dizzy as shit, vision down to 2d, “Uhm, yeah, I… Have a problem…”

“What made you chose XYZ?”

“Because I don’t go to anyone that isn’t Palmer, that’s why!”

Not so dizzy stupid I can’t say that.  Heh-heh.

Bungle kindly drove me over, walked me in, and got panicked during because he had read all the mags in the lobby.

But I was happy that I had done my homework.  Albiet I used it late.  Was wierd given, this doc didn’t know my history, my chiro always knew what was going on w/ me.  Knew my fam. Knew my injuries, knew my job, knew my weak points, knew right off “well, darn her, she went too long again!”

🙂

Standing there dizzy as !@#$# “so Ice will fix this?  Omg no, I don’t want medication, I hate that.  No, I don’t want a slip to be outta work, if I’m not capable, I call out.  If I need backup, I’ll call… Yeah, I know, my posture is shit… Yeah…. Wait, what..?  Natural digression with women because we don’t want to stand with good posture and feel we are so sticking our boobs out?  Okay.”

No, he didn’t say it that way, but it was… Pretty clear.

So, I digress.  Can’t afford the therapy, I need the yoga.

And I went back to it…

And I more seriously read that book again.

No, not the 200 pages.  I’m not to that point.   “Blah blah blah, you’re great, flexible, all that yo, I just need to get my… Spine… Okay, wait, that is actually… Something I get.”

So I say this.

The Yoga Asana is… Going deeper, and probably something I should focus on, given….

But it was really nice to get back in touch with that.

And not so nice to realize I have to stick my fat bum in the air and “try”.

“Wiggle, wiggle!  Work yourself!  Don’t force it, work it!  Let your body will it!” was back in my day.  “Stretch-Stretch!  Feel it stretch! ”

“Omg!” I’d curse within 2 seconds.  “I can’t do this!”

“You can’t do this!!   Not now, no, you can’t, but imagine it in your mind!  You WILL do this!”

“!@#@#$ you!”

“It’s not about what you see others do, it’s about you and working yourself to it!  Work for it! Feel it, earn it!  Work for it!”

Which… Is a totally diff approach w/ this book…

As I told a co-worker, “I’m not  going to that freaking ‘hot yoga’ retail center.  Number one, I’m not getting around a slew of 85 lb upper-sluts and sticking my fat ass in the air.  Or trying at least.  Yeah, you think you pooting might be the worst of it?  Just you wait!”

Regardless…

Getting my core back in shape is one thing.

One step.

the rest of my…Issues… well….  that’s right now between me and my butchered up thought process.

😉

One thing at a time.