I came across this a few happy-holi-days ago.
Situation:
Empty road-very empty. I needed to turn left, was a rather quick realization, but I looked in the rear and side mirror, hit the light, and shifted. And suddenly…
The biker that was driving 60+ mph to reach the light around me was cut off.
I seem to recall something in driver safety about watching anyone ahead of you. I follow that rule to save my own ass. I watch forward traffic more than I do any around me. A safe driver does not exceed their [ahead] speeds unless you are on a highway-and only then do you pass on the left, not the bloody right, as seems to be the case with these “bikers” as well.
Regardless, on an empty road and crossing, this guy gunned it to speed around me to prove he was faster than my car, and I was shifting a lane at a red light. Okay, so I approach a red light easily, I don’t gun it. (My Mazda would squeal tires and buck into traffic if I did, believe me. It’s a mean, temperamental little aqua monster that does not take kindly to 1st gear.)
The first reaction of this guy, in a terribly funny Yankee accent, was to scream, “You fucking faggot!”
Which I immediately giggled at. Because as I later remarked, “Why was that his first reaction? He had no idea who was driving. He assumed a ‘faggot’, who knows why. But it was his first reaction to question the ‘manhood of a driver’.” How revealing of his flaws!
Bungle sort of frowned at me, and asked, “Is that the first time you’ve been called a faggot?”
“Yes! And-wow! I might actually cherish that!”
The red light we had clashed upon was a slow one. Which meant that this guy’s bad display had to be extended. He had no clue who might pop out of that car, really. We were in a bad spot of town, and a crazy cracked out passenger could have sprung from the window with a gun. An ego-angry driver might have followed. Better keep up the ridiculous banter. So the guy ran out of steam, or breath, in about a half a minute. After screaming about my manhood, and how inadequate I was with my d@#k, he ran out of things to say off of the top of his head. A few quiet seconds after, I thought, “Okay, time for him to have looked at my tag. Really pay attention to this car. And any stickers on it! He wouldn’t know BBQ if it hit him in the head with a brisket, but let’s not read too much into this maniac. Wait for it-wait for it!”
“Go back to ____!”
“There it is!” I crowed. “He was a little late on the delivery, but he got there eventually!”
Not only did he get hoarse while roaring at the back-end of my vehicle, but he was revving his engine, screaming profanities to me and every other driver in the area, and a few stragglers gawking on a sidewalk, but he had to endure a 3 minute red light that was not going to let him off easy.
The light changed, but as we were all turning left, we all creeped about a foot forward and then had to wait for oncoming traffic. More torture for this guy. He was skidding up his sneakers (this guy was a weekend-rider) and once off the white line, he did all in his power to nearly hit the tail end of Honda Pilot for not paying attention to anything in his determination to toss a bone.
Then he got caught at the next red light, and we were behind him.
And he shut up pretty quick.
I imagine because he really had no clue what kind of “faggot” was in that car, and if that creature was packing a firearm and would step out on him at the first chance.
These guys seem to be a trend out here, for some reason. Pardon me for saying, but I know “biker types”. They don’t get their Docker’s in a wad and act hard, and they don’t do all in their power to bring down the heavens for something they had a hand in. I well know to look out for anyone on a motorcycle, and I appreciate the danger for any rider. But there is something a little off about a handful of these guys out here.
Bungle warily asked, “You see this a lot?”
“Time to time. These guys have something to prove.” I dunno what, but I said something was short, and he laughed, and the guy would have probably gotten even more mad if he did hear me remark upon it. I already suspect he had a small coronary when he reached his destination and yelled some more about his trip there.
“Bikers” so-called out here, or as they want to be, think that being on two wheels means you can drive 30+ the speed limit and weave in and out of traffic like a loomer. They nearly smash into people, cut off people already on cell-phones, split lanes, and yell at anyone who blows a horn at them for being as ignorant as the texter that nearly wiped them out. I’ve come to find about this area: the more black leather the guy is wearing, the more his taxbreak, the worse he’s going to drive. Bike, Car, whatever.
Seems to hold water.
But as we did note, because it was something that had to be noted even during the hopeful burning: “Hard to take a guy seriously when he’s screaming at you in a weak yankee accent.”
Maybe he had a gun… With the ego problem he had, I’m sure he was holding something.
But to be quite honest, I was glad that we weren’t carrying a gun of our own.
And they call this one of the “Road-Rage Cities of the World”. I can see that. But I am starting to suspect it is more about that bruised up thing some males consider an ego than anything else.
I suppose what really did surprise me…
I have a lot of respect for anyone on a motorcycle. It’s dangerous. I know firsthand through family what can be done with reckless drivers and inattention-heck, even deer are “careless”. I know to be cautious and keep an eye out. It’s always unnerving when one comes across a biker that does not follow any rules. They jar me. They scare me more than any texter does. They’re more dangerous than a soccer mom bitching on a cellphone. That, Sir, is how you get run over.
But I’m learning out here that two wheels and a compact 4-cycle don’t mean the owner of the bike is paying any more attention than the driver of a car. They’re mostly out to be “Bad-ass”, at any cost. Speed, speed, speed, and appearance.
He’s going to get run over, I can put money on that.
I am just darn glad it wasn’t me that twisted him up in my wheel well.
Don’t speed, you “bikers”-left or right lane, or proving to a light that is already red. Showing off really can’t be that important. What the hell is the point in that anyway? You drive like a moron and you put yourself at risk. That you can’t blame on traffic. That you can’t blame on anyone else but yourself. Be as responsible-just like we all hope every driver of any kind is to be. It’s fucking expected of you.
I am pretty proud of my new title, though.
Jacky Green <—Faggot.
Hee!
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